Lessons learned – Part II

by dahl2013

A hideous, hideous thought – to go through life again and to lose yet another child……. something I have read on numerous occasions…….if you don’t learn the life lessons that you are meant to in this life, you have to go through the whole process again.  This completely horrifies me.  I start trying to make some sense of things I might have learned through this experience because as sure as ‘eggs is eggs’, I am NOT going to go through this again if I can help it.

I talk to Francis on a shared car journey one day.  We are trying to make some sense of this horrendous event.  The one thing that comes to mind with me is that, before Rowie was taken from us, little things really annoyed me.  Crikey, I wish we could earn enough to feel comfortable; I wish we had more family time together; I wish we could manage a family holiday without having to pay for it for years; I wish, I wish, I wish………if you were to ask me now to make one wish that would make my whole life absolutely, completely and utterly perfect, that wish would be to have Rowie back with us; fit, healthy and full of the fun and mischief that he exuded non-stop! Perhaps that is my first real lesson


‘Pride comes before a fall’. Perhaps we were too proud of our kids. Francis is a funny, lively, warm, witty guy. Gives his all in any sport he takes part in; rugby, soccer, softball, cricket, badminton. He loves them all and encourages all those around him to play to their best ability. He is an inspiration to those younger kids coming through. Makes Chris and I proud repeatedly. Rowan was a polite, funny, kind, gentle, honest, honorable sort of a kid. One that would bend over backwards to help you; one that got down on the floor with the younger kids at school; one who is remembered for his gentleness and warmth. Yes, we were and are proud of our kids – is this a sin?

We don’t lead the sort of life where people would be envious of our attainments and wealth. We are normal, every day folk who work hard to make ends meet. We have had our personal tragedies; the fire in 2009 that took the life of two of our cats and memories of years gone by in the shape of family furniture and photographs.

We have I think learned that death dates are preset before entering into a new life. Rowie wasn’t taken because we had been bad or because he had been bad. He was taken because he was contracted to spend only a little time on earth this time around. Something that he was aware of at some level during 2012. Perhaps this was because he was a ‘old soul’ with little to learn on this circuit. We don’t know why yet but I’m sure we will one day.