Personality Plus Plus Plus!
Although Rowie was only young when he died (nearly 17 years) he was more mature than his years in so many ways. He had an inner-warmth, gentleness and kindness. He often spoke of the Samurai Code of Honour and his desire to live by their four simple rules; strength, respect, loyalty and honour. It was extremely rare that he ever criticized anyone. He never played the blame game. He was always the first to put his hand up if he had done something wrong. As Francis said at his funeral:-
“he was also the most honest person you could meet. Many times he would get up to a cheeky piece of mischief and own up to Sue pretty much before he finished!”
Most of us learn the blame game at a very early age – “who me?” “No, it was her”! Rowie never played that game even when he was young which, on analysis, was quite a clever concept. Blame someone else and you’re in trouble; own up and its pretty hard for anyone to get too grumpy!
Forgiveness was something Rowie was very good at too. He never bore a grudge. He wasn’t prone to sulking. Forgiveness is a present that we give to ourselves. It is a conscious choice not to resent or plot revenge against someone else. By forgiving we aren’t minimizing the wrong that the offender may have done; we are just freeing ourselves of our own negative and damaging thoughts – thoughts that eat you up if you let them. Rowie never did. On occasions when he talked to me I felt like the child!
“Rowan had the biggest heart. He was the glue in our family. He always knew what to say and to say it at the right time. With his gentle sense of humour and cheeky grin he would light up any room, be it classroom, lounge, pub or party.”
Rowie was full of love. He loved openly and he loved hard. His love had no boundaries. He loved his family totally and unconditionally. He loved his friends with a total commitment and loyalty. He wasn’t ashamed of admitting to loving you. His love wasn’t possessive and it wasn’t based around conditions. There were no strings attached to his love. He just loved. He cried at sad movies. He cried at sad songs. This didn’t make him soppy or weak. He was stronger for carrying his heart openly.
He had a wicked sense of humour; one that quite frequently manifested itself when it would have been better remaining buried! Having said that, laughter was hugely important to him and if something amused him I’m afraid that stopping the bubbling up of mirth was completely impossible. His dimples would start forming; his eyes would light up and he would laugh until tears rolled down his cheeks! I miss the sound of his laughter.
He certainly wasn’t perfect but I’m thinking he was pretty damned close! Just think what a better place the world would be if we could all love and forgive as easily as our beautiful, warm and funny son.