Life, Death and Spirituality

Month: October, 2013

How I see more things…

All situations in our lives happen in order for us to learn.  They are not coincidences; they are not simply external stimuli.  I am sure these experiences are actually offerings for the soul.  The wrappings might not be what we want and the contents might not be what we anticipated but we still asked for these in our soul contract.  Our soul needs to be challenged and to learn emotional lessons to allow it to move forward in its development. Otherwise we would keep coming back to learn the same lessons over and over again.  As I have said before; I am determined to learn my soul lessons this time around so that I don’t have to relive these in another life.  It can be incredibly frustrating trying to figure out what lessons might be learned from an experience.

I dragged Francis and Maree along to see His Holiness The Dalai Lama when he visited Dunedin this winter.  I had read his book ‘The Art of Happiness’ and I felt that I needed to see this man in person.  As luck would have it we were pretty close to the front of a sold-out Dunedin Town Hall.  The atmosphere was tremendous and when he walked on to the stage I felt incredibly emotional, tearful.  Here was an old guy, kicked out of his own country, torn away from everything he had ever known; still smiling, still loving, still laughing, still caring.  His recipe for happiness; love, compassion, forgiveness!  How easy is that?  This love, compassion and forgiveness doesn’t start with applying it to someone else.  It starts by applying it to yourself.  Learn to love yourself first because then its a whole lot easier to love others!  Have compassion for yourself and most importantly, take a good hard look at yourself and forgive!  If God, Buddha, Allah et al. can forgive us then surely we can learn to forgive ourselves.  His Holiness lives to those rules and I am sure he will live forever!  He certainly carries the most amazingly vibrant and glowing aura.

I don’t believe in Hell.  God is all loving and all forgiving.

Some people may have huge lessons to learn and much healing to do on their return ‘Home’ and they may well have hard lessons to learn in their next incarnation but I do definitely doubt the existence of a dark and fire-filled pit!  I think Hell was created by mere mortals who had something to gain from peoples’ fears and misgivings.  I also think that we create our own Hell on earth – something that we can change.

Love, compassion and forgiveness – worth thinking about?




How I see things….

For a large part of my life I would have classed myself as agnostic, unsure of the existence of God, Buddha, Allah et al.; needing proof of an afterlife before committing to a firm belief.  

As a child I had the usual morbid interest in death.  When we found dead animals; moles, voles, mice, frogs etc. we would solemnly dig a hole, construct a coffin and inter the poor wee creature.  We would stand with heads bent and mutter “ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if God doesn’t want you then the Devil must”!  Mum was perhaps the only member of our immediate family who had a belief.  Pop (my father) as I have explained previously was a vet, a scientist who didn’t believe in Spirit and the afterlife.

I think I began to believe that there had to be more shortly before Pop died.  I wasn’t sure of what the ‘more’ entailed but I just couldn’t believe that we are born, live and die and that is it.  When Pop died my belief became stronger – maybe because he was so very important to me that I couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing him again.  

Mum was only 57 when she lost Pop – the same age that I am now.  How young to become a widow.  She died some twenty four years after Pop; a long time to be by herself.  She was ready to die.  She had told me that she wanted to move on – she knew that she was moving on and not just dying.  By this time I also felt very strongly that there was something else; something intangible but definitely a continuation of energy after death.

You expect to lose your parents at some stage in your life.  However horrendous the thought might be, it is the way of things.  You certainly don’t expect to lose a child though; one that you have successfully reared to a thriving age of nearly 17 years; an age when that child has turned into a young adult and has become an awesome friend as well as kith and kin.

I have spent the last ten months believing categorically that there is an afterlife (I couldn’t ever allow myself to think otherwise – this would have been terribly disloyal to Rowie).  My beliefs have changed substantially though.  My copious amounts of reading and my tenacious digging for truth have left me with very definite beliefs nonetheless.

As I have said previously, these are my beliefs and I don’t wish to offend anyone with them; I just ask that you be open-minded.

I believe that we live many lives and on each life journey with have soul lessons to learn.  I believe that we draw up a contract before each incarnation and I believe that our soul family are involved in the drawing up of this contract.  Within this contract I believe that we are allowed to select our parents and I believe that we also select a death date which is non-negotiable.  I believe that Heaven, Nirvana, the Promised Land, Shangri-la is very close to us.

I believe that Heaven has a higher energy than we have but I believe that through meditation and conscious attunement, we can develop an ability to find that higher vibration.  I believe that the world is changing rapidly.  More people are becoming attuned to this higher vibration, this higher energy.

….and guess what, I believe in angels too!


The ‘Firsts’ – an Emotional Perspective

Obvious ‘firsts’ are birthdays, anniversaries, holidays – the times where Rowan was such a large part of the experience and such a huge presence.  Then, of course, there are the school things – things that have been such a large part of our lives for so very long; swimming sports, sports day, cross country, Kapa Haka, school productions, school formals.  Weaning ourselves off these things is not an easy process.  We want to be there but have no real right anymore; and if we were there then we would probably make fools of ourselves by crying again!  Then we have the ‘not-so-obvious’ school related things; school holidays, first days back at school, seeing the uniform on someone else.  Some things are easy to circumnavigate – we avoid the shop at times where the kids are likely to be there; before school, lunchtimes and after school. Other things you drive yourself to see because you feel that it somehow pays some sort of respect to Rowie’s memory.  We all have different tolerance levels.  Chris and Francis drove themselves to watch the first Kapa Haka performance at school after the amazing performance of his friends at his funeral.  This was a no-go area for me.  I tried for sports day but couldn’t get beyond the car.  Swimming sports, with Chris along side was a little easier.

People kind of expect you to be over the grieving by a certain time.  They look at you as you approach wondering whether to cross over to the other side of the street to avoid you.  “Oh crikey, I hope she’s not going to cry”!  To be honest, I was probably guilty of thinking along those lines in the past.  Grief is a strange beast.  You think you’ve got it beat and then it creeps up behind you and bites you on the bum!

As our ‘firsts’ are fast coming to an end and the ‘respectful grieving time’ is nearing its end (I believe it is 12 months), I hope you will forgive us if we still have the odd hiccup along the way.  We sit down to dinner every night, the two of us.  We have had 26 years of sitting down to dinner with our boys.  We know that odds are Rowie would have disappeared to Dunedin next year but he would still have been a presence and a welcome visitor when he returned.  This is no longer an option.

We have had to get used to each others company again – something we haven’t had for 26 years.  A make or break time I think.  But ten months on I honestly think we are going to make it.


Optional extras…………

Rowie was fascinated with the spiritual world.  He firmly believed in everything spiritual.  He was captivated by the beauty of crystals and he firmly believed in everything non-physical.  He was intuitive, sensitive and perceptive.

What options have you when you are trying to communicate with people who have passed?  We have the pendulum. We have energy-loaded crystals which would take a decade to discuss properly.  We have guided meditations.  We have Angels. We have Angel cards.  We have tarot.  We have astrology.  We have colours.  We have sound.  We have essential oils. We have the seven master Chakras; the Crown Chakra, the Third Eye Chakra, the Throat Chakra, the Heart Chakra, The Solar Plexus Chakra, the Sacral Chakra and the Root Chakra. 

My mind is blown by all the ways available to us.  I have played with the possibility of all of them.   The one thing I have noticed is that they all interlink with each other.  The Angels each have a preferred crystal;  they have preferred oils, colours and sounds.  I guess it is a matter of grounding yourself and analysing which one of these fits best with your inner self. 

My preference at present is the crystal route.  When I was in San Francisco I experienced the power and energy of crystals first hand and was astounded by their possible effect.  I came home and started researching the various possibilities that crystals had to offer.

We have the Synergy 12 Crystals.  These are said to be the 12 most powerful crystals in the world to speed up your evolution and get you on the path to your highest destiny quickly.  To acquire these stones should start the process.  Apparently most people who have these 12 Synergy stones have found their true purpose in life and have been swept onto their spiritual path and have evolved very quickly.  They rapidly help you to find out exactly when you incarnated in this lifetime to do and to put you on the right path no matter where you are in life.

These 12 synergy stones are:-

Natrolite, Phenacite, Moldavite, Tibetan Tektite, Danburite, Brookite, Azeztulite, Scolecite, Herderite, Tanzanite, Petalite and Satyaloka Quartz.

That’s great!  I go out and get them.  What now?  I can feel the power of each individually.  If you place them over your third eye there is definitely a buzz, a kick/lift/jolt felt from these wee mineral beauties.  How do I harness the power of these treasures to elevate me to my highest destiny?  What does that really mean?  I may be aspiring to be spiritual but so much of the jargon means little to me.  I have bought so many books to help me through this phase – I just need to be able to concentrate sufficiently to make heads and tails of it…….


Almost an Angel.....

Love that smile

More thoughts….

Fergie, the local policeman on duty the day of the accident told us that his one driving force that night was to return Rowie’s body to his family.  The coastline around The Chaslands is notoriously unforgiving and he was afraid that Rowie’s body would be taken by the tide before the rescue helicopter could lift him.  The tide was lapping his arm as they managed to take him from the beach.  Fergie heaved a sigh of relief.  Albert, a member of the local Search and Rescue was with Rowie on the beach as the sun set.  He sent Rowie a message on Facebook :

Rowan, you know me im tiffany and toms dad, you are on my friends list and i am on yours ummm im a fire man with the papatowai rural guys and some how that let me be in charge sometimes, anyway im not sure you will know this but i was with you last night and you and i and the tokonui paramedic shared the most amazing sunset on chaslands heads together before they took you away that was my hand on you shoulder as the then big red sun slide into the sea , it was one of the most beautiful catlins sunsets i have seen, tonight in not a fireman just a dad and my tears flow freely for you and your family”



After the inevitable post mortem Rowie was returned to us. We were so lucky to be able to see him again and to say are farewells to him in person. So many people aren’t that lucky. Christmas and New Year will never be the same again; he died on Boxing Day, we forgot Chris’ birthday on 30th December. We said our final farewells to Rowie at his funeral on New Year’s Eve and Francis and Maree’s second wedding anniversary on 1st January was sadly another casualty of the tragedy.

Chris and I made a very selfish decision; we had Rowie cremated so that we could hold on to something – his ashes – his last wordly remains. When we picked them up from the undertakers I felt an enormous relief at having him back. As I picked up the box two things hit me; firstly the weight of the box. For some reason I thought it would be light. Secondly I felt an energy, Rowie’s energy and I held it close all the way home. They sit on his beloved piano among the candles and owls that keep multiplying at an alarming rate! These ashes have been very cathartic for us and we hold on to them still. They have caused certain times of angst though. We (perhaps I should say I) now live in mortal fear of something happening to those! When we went on holiday this year he went to stay with Karen and Murray (I believe he might have spent some time locked up) – we thank you both XX

Christmas holidays over Chris, Francis and I head back to work. Something we had been dreading. Chris dreaded his first night shift; alone with his thoughts. Francis dreaded his first early morning trip to work; alone with his thoughts. I dreaded my first trip down the coast past The Chaslands. A large part of my job as District Supervisor for Census 2013 was covering the area between Owaka and Invercargill via the coast; recruiting, training and then supervising my 17 collectors. This road had become Rowie’s final journey and it was a road that held horrors for me. Maree helped me with my first journey by keeping me company and talking non-stop there and back; thus leaving herself drained and hoarse at the end of the day; God bless her!

Anyone who has lost someone close will know that it is “the firsts” that hurt the most. We have 10 weeks left of “firsts”. Hopefully we will then begin to smile again as anniversaries come around for the second time.

Rowan Cai Parker

Universal White Time Healing

Jose Sanchez, our White Time teacher is a warm, funny soul.  He has been on a journey himself.  He is told that the weekend of our course will see an end to this particular journey and he is excited.  He is not sure how this end will manifest but he knows that something pretty amazing is going to happen.  He shares this with us and we are all delighted to be part of his metamorphosis.

I couldn’t have known that Rowie would be the catalyst for Jose’s journey’s end. After an exhausting day, we were all individual seen by Jose for the final ‘switching on’. For some reason (coincidence?)I ended up being last to go down to Jodie’s treatment room for this procedure. After Jose had finished he was extremely surprised to be approached by Rowie. Rowie wanted to send his love through Jose to me. I found myself feeling incredibly emotional as Jose gave me the “Rowie” hug – unmistakable in its manner and feeling. I then returned to the group and waited for Jose to come upstairs. When he did he was very quiet and withdrawn for a time. This particular journey for him had ended with the love Rowie gave. What an amazing ‘newby’ to Heaven Rowie has turned out to be! As many people have said though, he is an ‘old soul’.

Last night I had a SKYPE session with Jose where he gave me a ‘New Initiation’ to White Time Healing, the first upgrade for many years. The energy was amazing. I have tended to be a little skeptical about long-distance upgrades. My first experience of one was from Jodie and I felt an utter calmness and stillness during the blessing that was quite astounding. This session with Jose was equally stunning. I could feel my whole body pulsating with the energy and the heat. I can’t wait to try some hands on healing to see how this has affected my energy levels.

If you had told me ten months ago that I would be giving the Wholeness Blessing (as taught to Joe Crane by Archangel Michael) to people and that I would perform healing by using energy from the original sun’s White Time Ray I would probably have accused you of losing all sense of reality – something some of you may think about me! Believe me, the energy is real and the Blessing, one heart at a time, is absolutely incredible.

Beautiful soul (albeit I'm a little biased)