suewen

Life, Death and Spirituality

Month: November, 2013

Your mission, if you choose to accept it…….

Life purpose – something talked about a lot in the books I have read..  I have certainly learned some life-lessons from our experience over the last 11 months; but life purpose?  Ascended Master, Almora said that I had been a healer in many previous lives; he said that on numerous occasions I had been persecuted as such (perhaps the term ‘witch’ may have applied to me in previous lives)!  He said that this previous persecution may be partially blocking my profoundly clairvoyant talents.  Since my visit with him I have certainly managed to clear some of this blocking with Jodie but I need to do some more work.  This takes me back to meditation.

I was talking to a friend about my frustration with my inability to concentrate long enough to have a good meditation session.  She surprised me by saying that the small school where she is a ‘teacher-aid’ start their new entrants, aged five, with basic meditation practice every morning!  Wow – this is tremendous news.  If only all schools were to include this in their curriculum the world would start turning itself around rapidly – within one generation!  Why aren’t there more facilities that teach meditation?

As I have said previously, all this hitherto ‘mumbo-jumbo’ stuff about crystals, energy healing, astral travel, Blessings, was certainly not part of my early life. My visit to San Francisco threw me into this strange world head first….people talking to their crystals; Angels appearing with messages; chakras being cleared; affirmations; gratitudes; past-life issues; awakening of psychic senses; spiritual gifts………

My mission, if I choose to accept it, is to go back to New Zealand with these wonderful gifts and propound their efficacy to the beautiful, salt of the earth people in South Otago and beyond.  These beautiful, salt of the earth people, like me in the beginning, are highly unlikely to find this ethereal stuff believable!  If I accept this mission I must give twelve Wholeness Blessings within a three month period and begin utilising my Universal White Time Healing for the goodness of the community.

Well, who would have thought it!

As Jodie said, ‘the Universe won’t let you fail Sue’!  She was right.

Thank you Owaka for supporting me and allowing me to complete the first part of my mission with two days to spare (and thank you Francis and Maree for being so proactive)!

 

 

Rowan Parker Memorial Trophy

After Rowie died Morgan Culbertson from Clinton suggested to Francis that Clinton Cricket Club and Owaka should play for a Rowan Parker Memorial Trophy.  True to his word he went out, bought a trophy, had it engraved and produced it at the last match of the 2012 season.  We were truly moved by this act of kindness.

Cricket, as those who knew Rowie well will remember, was not his favorite sport!  He turned out a couple of times in 2012 for Francis because they were short………and because Francis begged (very unbecoming according to Rowie)!  After each game he swore never to play cricket again!

If you have been following my blog you will remember Lynn, the first medium I made contact with after Rowie died.  Her very first reading over the phone ten days after he died was incredibly accurate; mind-blowing in its preciseness.  Some of the things she said already applied.  Other things didn’t make sense at the time but were visions of the future.  One of the things that already applied but didn’t make immediate sense became clear some days later.  She said that Rowie was hopping around on his right foot saying ‘Oww’ loudly and pointing at his left foot!  I immediate went cold.  I thought that perhaps this was some injury suffered through the accident. Lynn said that this was definitely not the case because ‘he is laughing as he does it’!  I was baffled – couldn’t think of what this might mean.  Some days later it all became very clear.  The last game of cricket he played (a little less than a week before he died) was at Milton.  He was fielding; very disgruntled at having to play anyway; worried that he would be late home for a date with Jess. Grumpy would describe his state of mind!  He told me the story as we drove home.  He was fielding deep and a ball came hurtling towards him on the ground.  His brain went into overdrive! ‘If I throw myself on top of it, that will hurt me big time’ he thought.  So instead he stuck his left foot out to stop it!  Time for big regrets.  This proved to be an extremely painful and decidedly bad decision!  So, it suddenly became clear why he was hopping around, pointing at his left foot and making a huge fuss for Lynn!

Today was the inaugural game for the Rowan Parker Memorial Trophy.  Along with Francis were some good mates of Rowies; Quinten, Jeremy, Tyler, Vano, Jamie and, of course, Jim Young. You guys played a stormer!  Well done.  First round to Owaka.

I am who I am!

Can someone be too sensitive?

I remember a time many moons ago when my father was kicked on his right elbow by a cow. The consequence of this was that he couldn’t cut his food with a knife because it was too painful.  I sat in tears watching him struggle.  I couldn’t stand his pain any longer so I grabbed his plate and cut his food for him (I was of an age where I was barely past having my own food cut for me)!

Rowie and I sat with tears streaming down our faces watching the news.  We were still living in Alexandra so he can only have been a wee soul.  We watched as parents dug at rubble with their hands trying to free their children from a school that had collapsed.  I can’t remember why it collapsed but I can remember the pain we felt.  Again we sat and cried unashamedly after the Japanese tsunami.  We felt their fear, anguish and desperation.  Once more a natural disaster hits me in the stomach – the Philippines and the emotive way this disaster has been reported; hungry, desperate children being targeted by the camera.

Rowie didn’t quite have the chance to outgrow the ‘oh crikey, they’ll laugh at me if they see me crying’ frame of mind.  He felt slightly ashamed if anyone caught him crying at something sad (unless he was with someone whom he had a great empathy for and with).  I guess being male makes it harder too.  I love the new age man – someone who isn’t worried about looking soft, silly or asinine.

Why would someone deliberately set out to hurt someone else?  I may be described as a people-pleaser but I would rather be classed so than take pleasure in using hurtful words on another person.  Don’t get me wrong; I have hated people in the past; been guilty of criticising without knowing the full story but, I am pretty sure that I have never deliberately employed spiteful and wounding words calculated to cause pain.

‘Harden up’!  I abhor this expression.  If I feel sad what good is it going to be telling me to ‘harden up’?  Do you want me to change?  Do you want me to laugh at harsh, cutting wit?  Do you want me to stare at the television without feeling emotion?  Do you want me to see hideous photographs that people post on Facebook without feeling repulsed and wretched?

Chris and my children are my whole world.  This will sound bizarre but when I cook something that I know Rowie loved I become tearful; not because of his memory but because he can’t enjoy it too.  I love to spoil my family.  Cooking is my gift to others.  I cook to please Chris, Francis, Rowie and Maree.  Christmas is coming and I am devastated that I can’t spoil Rowie; make him smile; make him laugh; make him happy.  

So you see, I would not be me if I wasn’t just a little bit of a softy.  I tend to absorb negativity from other people which brings me down.  I don’t like harsh situations.  I may well unwittingly carry other people’s pain in a well-intentioned desire to help.  If I tell you that what you are doing is making me feel sad please don’t tell me to harden up.  Be stunned that I have had the courage to tell you this, accept that I bruise easily and move on.

What a busy week

Rowie was at the unveiling of the plaques on Monday.  I knew he was there.  I spent some time scanning the kids and scanning the windows looking for him – I felt him but just couldn’t see him! Jodie emailed me to say that he most certainly was there and very proud to be so.

Wednesday night’s prize-giving was a remarkable evening.  I didn’t really want to go but Chris was adamant that we should.  He described it as the closing of a book.  I am so pleased that he persuaded me.  It was a privilege to see Rowie’s peers graduate and hear about their future plans.  The Kapa Haka performance at the beginning was the best we have ever seen (albeit missing one awesome performer)!  The orchestra was excellent as was the choir’s performance. The announcement of next year’s Head Boy and Head Girl was a poignant moment but our best wishes go to Tyler and Ellen – they will be awesome.  The jewel in the crown was Year 13’s final performance!  It was the most emotive and impassioned presentation that we have seen since the send off that was given to Rowie on New Year’s Eve 2012.  Chris and I had to beat a hasty exit as we were both so emotional charged – tears all the way home; but what a performance – stunning, astonishing, wonderful!

Jodie tells me that Rowie stands behind me as I write these posts.  Again I think that I have been aware of this.  I can only write on certain occasions.  I sometimes sit down to write and nothing comes into mind.  I will then, at another time, get an overriding urge to write and things seem to flow with ease.  I am guessing those are the times that Rowie has nothing better to do elsewhere!  I say that with humour because I know that if I really want him here, he is here in the blink of an eye.

Chris and I wish all Rowie’s peers wherever they are; Owaka, Balclutha, Alexandra, Roxburgh, Hawkes Bay, Dunedin; all the best with their exams and future plans.  Much love XX

Rowie and Jess

I was asked to put this photo up :o)

Life goes on…….

A tremendously moving ‘unveiling’ of the plaques for Rowie.

Chris, Francis, Maree and I are hugely grateful to you all for the thought and preparation that went into this ceremony.  We are also grateful to Census District 403 for providing the beautiful wee Rowan trees that gave a home to the rocks (donated by Grant Bradfield – thank you) to which these beautiful plaques (designed by Rowie’s peers – God bless you) are now attached.

Alex MacCreadie was, as always, superbly eloquent.  He hopes that the trees and rocks will provide some-time solace for youngsters and teenagers who may need a little spiritual uplifting.  Rowie will love that idea.  He has such empathy for other people – I am sure he will be there to give people all the strength they need if they ask him.

He was with us yesterday – I know he was there.  The feeling was so great that I was constantly scanning the Kapa Haka group; looking for some sign of him; expecting to see him.  Lets be honest though, its ridiculous to think that he wouldn’t be there – with all the people he loved; with his dear and valued Kapa Haka group; with his valued teachers and cherished friends, in a place that he loved so much.

I thank you on behalf of Rowie.

I thank you for creating this healing time for us.

Memorial Plaque

One of the two Memorial Plaques designed by Year 13 pupils at The Catlins Area School for Rowan Cai Parker, Head Boy 2013.

R.I.P. buddy XXX