Nearly 12 months……A resume

by dahl2013

OK, so it’s nearly a year since we lost Rowan.  Sometimes it feels like a life time.  At other times it feels like only yesterday that he was hopping in and out of the office running different tee-shirts past me for approval; hoping to gain appreciation from Jess’ dad!  As Francis said at Rowie’s funeral, “as far as we know Rowan wasn’t scared of anything except ducks and Richard Cairns!”  His first choice of tee-shirt, an England rugby shirt, we both decided was perhaps an unwise choice!  He looked beautiful in anything.  He was tall, slim and athletic with a boyish grin that bestowed on him the most awesome dimples….and that grin was never far away.  He had a warm, vibrant sense of humour that bubbled away just below the surface unremittingly.  This sense of humour wasn’t always appropriate as I’ve said before but his laugh was infectious.

“Rowan was emotionally solid.  He was always there to lend a shoulder if anyone needed one to cry on.  His strength was one of the qualities which would have made him a fantastic head boy”, another quote from  Francis’ eulogy at Rowie’s funeral.  Francis has a remarkable way of analysing and expressing his views on Rowie – hitting the nail on the head; capturing the true essence of him.  “Honour – Rowan had the biggest heart.  He was the glue in our family.  He always knew what to say and to say it at the right time.  With his gentle sense of humour and cheeky grin he would light up any room, be it classroom, lounge, pub or party.  He was an honourable sixteen year old who acted and behaved well beyond his years.”

“Inexperience major contributor in quad bike death” – a headline in yesterday’s (4 December 2013) Otago Daily Times.  We had received the Coroner’s Report last week and I guess we should have expected a write-up in the paper….but it still came as enormous shock to Chris, sitting reading the paper during his lunch break at work.  We hope now that this is the final curved ball to head our way.

Jess, Reuben and Rowan did everything by the book.  The quad was in perfect condition, well maintained.  Rowan was wearing a crash helmet.  They had not been drinking any alcohol and they most certainly weren’t doing drugs.  The fact of the matter is that Rowan was not a farm boy; he didn’t grow up around bikes and quad bikes.  He had the normal 16-17 year old invincible mentality but was totally unprepared for what the terrain out at The Chasland Heads had to offer.  The camber of the cliff started him sliding and he didn’t know how to pull out of it.  He couldn’t have survived the 150-200 metre fall on to the rocks below.

I was comforted to hear that he had been taken from his body by his Angels even before he went over the cliff – they spared him the terror of this fall.  He had no time to shout or cry out.  He was totally disorientated for a good length of time after his passing.  He was in a state of shock and had much soul healing to do.  His grandparents have spent a lot of time with him; helping him to heal and he is now learning how to help other young people who arrive on the other side due to accidental death and disorientated like he was.

Thank you for reading my posts.

I rely on Rowie in some part to give me help with these ruminations.  I know he stands behind me when I write.