by dahl2013

My heart aches for those people just starting out on the same journey as us; one that we have been travelling for nearly thirteen months and one that a number of people in Otago and Southland have just begun.

We all expect to lose our grandparents, our parents, aunts and uncles sometime down the track; this is a natural course of events.  But none of us ever expect to lose a child.  None of us ever expect to lose a class mate, school friend and peer. 

When this journey begins nothing makes sense at all.  There is no solace in any words that anyone can say; how dare people think that they can begin to know how we are feeling right now.  No-one can possibly know what we are feeling.  This is so true.  People can think that they know the extent of pain that fills our hearts, our chests, our tummies but they don’t.  I remember asking a mother who had lost a child how long the excruciating pain lasts.  She just smiled at me.

Talking is cathartic though.  We must talk; we must be open about how we are feeling.  Be angry.  We deserve to be angry.  No-one ever promised life would be easy but this is just the most unjust thing that could happen to anyone.  But please don’t waste too much time on being angry.  Be angry and then let it go.  Remember that there are people still left here that love us and that need our love.  Remember also that our loved ones will still be with us wherever we are and that they don’t want to see our anger.  Seeing our anger saddens them.  Look for the signs. 

We will never again say that something is ‘just a coincidence’.  Our loved ones try in so very many little ways to tell us that they are still around; just out of our reach, but nonetheless close by.  We acknowledge that.  We know that Rowie is still with us; albeit in a different way, but he is ever present.  Look for a rainbow.  Look for a cloud with a silver lining.  Look for the signs.  The sun will come out again I promise.