I was talking to a friend the other day who has suffered the same devastating loss as we have; the sudden and accidental death of a much loved teenage child. We were talking about theories, beliefs, philosophies, viewpoints. She has always held spiritual beliefs; I am a relative greenhorn when it comes to this way of thinking and I am learning as I go along!
I tried to explain to her, poor long-suffering soul, what my theories are and I thought I might share them with you. Once again I apologise if these thoughts offend anyone – they are only my views and I have no intention of forcing them on anybody. They may be of interest to other people on a similar journey to us and it would be awesome to hear other people’s deliberations too.
I won’t share her stories – that is for her to do. I will say though that she too has some amazing stories to tell. These stories are similar to ours in some ways; they are stories that could easily be classed as coincidences if we didn’t know better. One thing we are both totally in agreement about is that we have a couple of pretty awesome cherubs keeping their eyes on us!
The first thing that I am completely sure of is that Rowan has not left us. He has not disappeared, never to be heard of again. His ‘life’ has not ended. He makes us aware regularly that he is still around with the subtle little messages that he leaves and the odd little humorous ‘happening’. I started this journey by putting these things down as ‘coincidences’. How frustrating that must have been for Rowie! He must have felt like shaking us – having breached that barrier between life within the confines of the human body and life as an infinite, loving, light being why wouldn’t he want to share this with his loved ones left behind in their lower vibrational bodies! Why wouldn’t he want to say ‘hey you guys, I’m still here – I can see everything you do. I can be with you any time you want me!’ ‘I’ll be here for you whenever you ask. I will be here to greet you when you pass through the veil of separation’.
I absolutely understand why some people may say that all these perceived happenings are a figment of our imagination or the amazing ‘coincidence’ – something that we grab hold of to carry us through the abject and desperate misery of our loss. I have questioned this myself over the last sixteen months but there comes a time when you have to actually admit that there are one heck of a lot of coincidences – far more coincidences than could possibly be coincidental! And then you begin to understand that there are no coincidences; there is a reason for everything under Heaven!
I really good friend of Rowan’s has seen him at one of her hockey games. He was there, on the side line, watching and cheering her on. This same friend feels him there, with her, when she needs a little more courage and resilience. This isn’t surprising. Rowie was wholly supportive of his friends before he died. Why would this change?
Another friend hears music that reminds her of him when she is feeling particular sad and needs a lift; a dose of joy! She laughed the other day and said that even the guy on the radio was astounded when a particular track came on – it wasn’t planned! I have experienced this phenomenon too.
He stands behind me when I am writing these posts. I ask him for inspiration prior to sitting down and I wait for an idea to spring to mind. I usually get a sort of insight within twenty-four hours about a topic to talk about. I haven’t seen him (more’s the pity) but I am aware that he guides me with warmth and love. He fills my heart with love on these occasions and I sometimes cry with the emotion I feel as I am writing.
I am not terribly clever when it comes to lighting fires! I have lost count of the number of times I have lit the fire only to return to it 10 minutes later to find that it has gone out! On these occasions, as when he was alive, I say to Rowie ‘Give me a hand please buddy – the fire’s gone out again’! (I am an asthmatic and I find the effort required to restart a fire can trigger my asthma and Rowie was well aware of this). I can return 10, 20 or 30 minutes later to find a roaring fire! He is awesome! Some may say that the fire probably hadn’t gone out. Please believe me. I know categorically that on certain occasions the fire had definitely gone out!
So, I believe that there is an afterlife. This is extremely comforting to me. I no longer fear death. I know that Rowan will be there to meet me and I’m guessing that Mum and Pop might just be there too!
I seriously believe in reincarnation.
I believe we all sign a contract before we incarnate with a list of lessons we intend to learn within this incarnation. I believe that our soul family are involved in making this plan so at some level we are all aware of our own destiny and the destiny of our loved ones. The younger the soul is when it passes over, the better the memory of the contract they made. This explains a lot to me about Rowan. It explains why he believed categorically during 2012 that he wasn’t going to see 2013. It explains so much about his attitude to life. He did a lot of living in his last year. He was in a rush to enjoy as many experiences as he possibly could. Looking back it is now apparent to me that he was very aware that time was running out. His last couple of months were strange. He spent a lot of time in his room. He was very pensive. He talked a lot about his spiritual beliefs. He spoke wistfully about his missed opportunity to visit Japan. I said that he could apply again in 2013 but he said ‘that won’t happen’. He wasn’t depressed. Depressed would say that he was unhappy. He most certainly wasn’t unhappy. Even though he was aware at some level that he wasn’t going to be here for long, he was excited. He was surrounded by awesome friends and he was enjoying fun teenage experiences. He was looking forward to a break away with friends for New Year. He was anticipating an amazing summer.
Well, he was right. He didn’t see 2013. He has been described as ‘an old soul’. I have been told that he has earned his wings. He no longer needs to reincarnate to learn more life lessons. He can stay where he is and become a guide, a teacher, a mentor to other young ones that pass early. If he chooses he can reincarnate – I just hope he waits until I get there!