Life, Death and Spirituality

Month: June, 2014


Who you were yesterday is not important; what you do today is vitally important.  What you do today will dictate what you become tomorrow.  If you look at this logically, then today is the most important time of your life and it shouldn’t be wasted.

When we pass from this world to the next we take nothing with us except our soul and all the loving moments and memories from our lives.  We need to clear our minds of all unwanted thoughts and concerns.  We should quieten our minds and wait for a new perspective on things to enter the space we create.  Meditation is a great way to do this.  Alternatively just sit quietly somewhere – somewhere in nature maybe.  Don’t let the cold weather stop you – sit in the car overlooking the beach within sound of the waves.  Let every ‘today’ be a time of inspiration, healing and learning.  We must allow ourselves time to rediscover the real ‘us’.  We mustn’t be discouraged by setbacks for the Universe always seems to ensure we are where we need to be ‘right now’.  There is no need to doubt ourselves or feel negative.  As long as we a trying our best we raise our vibration. 

Have you noticed how the Universe always seems to send us people who we need just at the right time?  You may have been thinking about something and suddenly the answer appears in front of you; maybe on television or the radio – or computer.  Since I started looking for these occurrences they have become far more visible.

There are always people we will like and there are always people who we will dislike and we all tend to label others and the things that they do as either good or bad.  It is fact though that at some point in the past, present or future we have done, or will do, the very same things – we need to be forgiving.  The whole purpose of all relationships is to help us to be more loving and compassionate and less judgmental.  Life is specifically designed to give us the lessons we need.  The relationships we encounter help us broaden our understanding of life, love and ultimately ourselves.

Sometimes I feel as if I am stagnating – I want desperately to move forward but can’t seem to clear the confusion.  My thoughts go around and around and don’t come up with any answers.  After a period of inactivity my journey then seems to dart ahead again; not always forward, maybe sideways but it certainly starts again with renewed energy.  The Universe seems to hold the surge back until my mind is ready to accept it.

I know Rowan is proud of me.  He knows so much more than me now (and he probably always did)!  I would love to have a deep and meaningful discussion with him about the meaning of life!  It seems so unfair to me that he has so much knowledge and I have so little; and that I have to work so very hard to gain the little bit of knowledge that I have! 

The one thing I am absolutely sure about is that the soul lives on after the vehicle it has used crashes and dies.  Rowan has made that completely clear to me and he has improved my quality of life enormously by teaching me not to be afraid of dying.



Way back at the beginning of my journey I wrote a post entitled ‘Mediums and Other Gifted Souls’.  Just recently I have been retracing this path again to some extent.

Lynn provided me with the first contact with Rowie post-death.  She did a phone ‘reading’ for me ten days after he died.  She warned me that it might be too soon for him to come through – but come through he did!  He came with my mother and father.  As a sudden passing, he was being held close by people who love him and who had already passed.

Lynn did an amazing reading and confirmed many things that were only known to close family.  She did another phone reading for me when I reached out desperately for her some 6 weeks later.  She again proved herself to be an amazingly gifted soul.  She then came to visit us in April 2013.  Chris and Francis were present for this reading and she provided positive and powerful comfort for us all.

During this phase of my journey I clutched at any straws that came my way.  I attended a workshop with Kelvin Cruickshank in Christchurch where Rowie put in an appearance.  I visited a Channel, Dellaina, in Christchurch who channelled an Ascended Master called Almora.  Almora, although not a medium, was able to tell me what stage Rowie was at with his healing.

I then totally blew the budget by visiting Jodie in San Francisco (actively encouraged by Chris I must add)!  Rowie had been hanging with Jodie ever since I had told him to go and introduce himself to her.  He popped to see her every time she emailed me or skyped me.  He got to know her very well even before I arrived in San Francisco.  That week in Aptos (where Jodie was based) was truly awe-inspiring!  I met many spiritually gifted people who taught me countless things and I came back to New Zealand with skills and experiences that were mind-blowing.

I then had a period of quiet contemplation and self-reflexion.  I felt like I had been running a marathon and I needed to pull back and review everything I had experienced.  I had been advised by Rowie (through Jodie) to start writing about my experiences.  This writing would enable me to make sense of what I had learned so far.  The first thing I learned was that challenges usually have to be worked through before they can be transformed into strengths!  These challenges, quite often the loss of a loved one, set us on a path to search for our ‘higher purpose’ in life.  Most people find that this ‘higher purpose’ involves sharing, teaching and contributing the knowledge that they have gained through this loss with others who are starting out on a similar journey and who are looking for their own purpose and comfort.

After this period of quiet contemplation I began to feel restless again.  A good friend of mine mentioned in conversation a gifted soul who is a spiritual artist who lives in the area.  We never got around to visiting her.  Several months down the track another friend mentioned that she was going to see this lady and asked if I would like to go with her.  I did.  She is another beautiful soul with fascinating gifts and purpose.  I returned by myself to see her again.  We had a wonderful day together and I learnt much.


Just recently I had the wonderful experience of seeing Rowie, albeit only for a second, and I felt the need to see Lynn again.  I visited her last Saturday.  What a wonderful day.  I had amazing company on the journey to Gore – the company of two beautiful women who are going through a similar journey to our own.

When I saw Lynn again it was like meeting up with a long lost friend!

She told me that this reading wasn’t about Rowie it was about me!

Jodie said of this

‘Spirit will do that sometimes.  It is their gentle reminder that after a loss it is time to make ourselves the centre of our lives again. You must be sure to live for you and I am so glad and proud that Rowie has put that forward too. He is obviously in very good hands’.

Rowie did join us nonetheless.  Lynn said he is taller, broader, more mature – he retains his cheekiness though.  He spoke of a dripping tap that is driving me nuts!  It certainly is!  He spoke of a family of mice we have ensconced in the warmth of the house (Long-Cat Yowling being the culprit who introduced them) and my reticence in using traps.  He mentioned our recent visit to the dentist and a particular missing tooth – and those of you who know Chris and I well will know what this refers to (I shall say no more)!  This was ample proof yet again that he was ever present in the room with us and that he is ever present in our lives.

Lynn went on to discuss my journey over the last eighteen months and said that I am getting closer to the spiritual acceleration I have been looking for.  She spoke of her mentor visiting and offered me a class that he is running – I accepted without hesitation J.  Lynn is a beautiful and amazing soul.

….and so my journey continues with renewed energy and enthusiasm!


I’ve talked about my Angel Therapy Oracle Cards.  Divine Guidance in the Major Arcana set of cards comes up repeatedly for me.  This card tells me that

‘there is no need to be alone.  There are amazing people around you from whom you can gain great strength and support.  Seek out those who are like-minded and who share your beliefs and ideals.  Make new friends who would benefit from your insights and affection.  Take a class on spirituality, or join an organisation that aims to do good in the world.  Archangel Sandalphon can help you find the meaning you’re seeking in your life.’

Ever since I first picked this card I have been meeting people who are on the same wavelength as myself; people who have helped me in one way or another on my journey.  I have found some beautiful people through writing this blog that I would have never met or had contact with if I hadn’t been instructed to write by Rowan (through Jodie in San Francisco).  I have had contact with amazing people from Napier, Gore, Christchurch, Auckland, Invercargill and Wellington.  I have had contact with people in Australia, Germany, Austria, Thailand, Italy, Spain, U.S.A., U.K., U.A.E., Ireland to name but a few.  Awesome people just keep turning up in my life as if preordained.

I met a wonderful soul the other day.  She is local to this area and I never knew she was here!  She is a spiritual artist first and foremost but she has many other wonderful gifts.

She told me of a Spirit Guide of mine, an Ascended Master called Lady Portia whose twin flame is Saint Gerlain (also known as Francis – remember there are no coincidences).  She also told me that Rowan is now guiding me too and he stands to the right of me.  I think I already knew he was with me more today than he was last year.  Rowie also stands with Francis at the moment.  I told Jodie about Lady Portia and she was delighted.  She said

‘Lady Portia is awesome.  Awesome.  All love.  Keep her around please and offer her the odd pink rose :-)’

Jodie has been re-reading my blog and she picked up on Rowie’s last words to me before he left the house on Boxing Day 2012.

‘As Rowie was leaving the house on 26th December 2012 he gave me the usual ‘Rowie hug’ and said “I love you”.  I said “love you too”, “stay in touch”.   He said “I can’t stay in touch, there’s no reception down there but I’ll text you when we come back in range”.  I am so grateful that we took the time to hug and say those three words.  As he left this world and moved on he knew and still knows that I love him.’

 Jodie said to me

 ‘Gosh I love those last words Rowan said before he headed out that day. There is no reception out there but I will be in touch when I am back in range. What a metaphor for what he has been up to!’

I was enormously touched when I read her comment.  Of course, I had never thought of it like that, and, bearing in mind that there are no coincidences, wow Rowie you certainly did get back in touch when you came back into range didn’t you!


My journey is as unique as I am.  No-one in the whole wide world has the same fingerprints as me.  No-one has the same DNA as me.  My journey, although initiated by an event that could be comparable to many, is a journey wholly unique to me and I wouldn’t want to preach its exactitude to you.  What I do say though is remain open-minded.  Don’t close yourselves off to the wonders around us; those we can see and those we can only feel.  Maybe life does go on after death; maybe we are all one consciousness; maybe those who have passed chose to stay around their loved ones here on Earth; maybe there are lucky, gifted people who can see both sides of the veil; maybe one day we will all have the confirmation we are looking for.  Until then love as hard as you can!


When Rowan died the first couple of books I read scared me witless!  I was picking up on that notion that if we don’t learn the lessons we are supposed to learn in this life then we have to come back and do it again and again until we gain the awareness we need.  As I’ve said before, the idea of having to go through the process of losing a child again horrifies me; I can’t stress strongly enough that to lose a child is the absolute hardest thing for anyone to ever have to go through and once is enough!

I believe the trials sent to each and every one of us are predestined because we need to learn a particular lesson.  Maybe our life purpose then pushes us to pass on what we learn to other people.  Many people who suffer life-shattering experiences end up sharing their journey with others – with a hope that some little thing they write or tell may resonate with someone who is suffering similarly; a glimmer of hope may grow from that.

Our life-shattering experience is totally different to those of our friends.  In this life we may not feel we have found our ‘soul mate’.  We may be restless and unhappy because we think that we are missing out.  So OK, our ‘soul mate’ hasn’t turned up but it hasn’t stopped us from forming close, warm, comfortable relationships; relationships that make us feel good.  We may feel that we haven’t the amount of money we want or deserve but if we have a roof over our heads and can afford to put food on the table then we are luckier than many.  Some may be predestined to contract a devastating disease.  I watch friends fighting for their health and accepting the help of others and keeping their cheerfulness and humour intact in the face of pain.  They make the lives of those around them far richer and far more remarkable by their patience and kind and loving attitudes to their illness and to life.

When these ordeals are sent to us we have to ask ‘what can I learn from this’?  These trials are our life lessons and if we can learn these lessons in this life we can move forward.

One of the most important lessons I have learned is not to judge others.  The beauty of this life is that we are all different.  We all have different needs and gifts and abilities and choices.  We don’t know why someone behaves the way they do because we are not walking in their shoes.  I am not saying that we should tolerate actions that hurt others but we should accept people for who they are and whether or not they fit our concepts of how someone should behave or what someone should be.  We should accept their sexual orientation, the colour of their skin, their physical appearance –these things can’t affect our lives in a detrimental way?   If we do judge, we judge these traits without them having any bearing on us whatsoever and that becomes interfering in other peoples’ lives.  Everyone should be allowed to express themselves freely and openly without being criticised as long as they are causing no harm to others.  As suggested by my hero, His Holiness The Dalai Lama, it is our responsibility to look at all people with love, compassion, forgiveness and understanding.  Intuition is a shared gift possessed by every race, colour, sexual preference and religion.  We need to look past what separates us and try to see what actually connects us all.  I’m thinking that the Universe and Mother Earth are the two major things we share.  Why can’t we share them in harmony with each other?

No-one gets away Scott-free!   We all have life-shattering experiences along the way.  It’s a matter of personal choice whether we chose to learn and grow from them or ignore them with hopes that the pain will disappear and life will go back to normal.  When we die we won’t judge ourselves based on how wealthy, beautiful or successful we were in life – we can’t take our wealth with us and our body or shell remains earth-bound too.  We will be judged and we will judge ourselves based on our actions during our life and based on how much we loved ourselves and others.  Am I able to look into the mirror every day with a clear conscience – do I like what I have done today?  Have I been kind and thoughtful?  Have a done anything to help anyone else or improve anyone else’s life today?  If the answer is ‘yes’ then I guess I am on the right track.