Life, Death and Spirituality

Month: October, 2014


2012 was cranking up to be the best year yet for our family. Francis married to Maree for nearly two years; Chris in a new job and enjoying it; Sue working for Statistics New Zealand in a rerun of the 2011 failed Census; Rowan attacking everything that came his way with enthusiasm and verve – his 10 day voyage on the Spirit of New Zealand, an underwater diving course, the confirmation of him being elected as Head Boy for 2013 – awesome year – taken away in the blink of an eye. 2012 became the worst year we have ever, as a family, experienced. 26th December 2012 – a date fixed in our minds forever; the day Rowan was swiftly taken from this earth and deposited just out of our reach.

Since 2012 I have met some amazing, beautiful people – people whom I would never have met if it hadn’t been for the horrendous accident at the end of 2012 which took Rowan away from us. I would never refer to Rowie’s death as serendipitous – this would be taking my foray into spirituality way, way too far but I have to say that if I had to try to find a positive to come from this appalling event it would be that I have met, spoken to and written to some incredible people in the last two years.

Old friends do not lessen in their value to me – they have known us, warts and all, for many years and have stuck by us through happy times and sad times and I will love them always.

But since the passing of Rowie I have found it rewarding to hang out with people who indulge my curiosity and fascination with the spiritual side of human existence – a side that not everyone believes in or appreciates and a side that sometimes scares people away however long they may have known you.

I have a young friend whom I met through Rowan. I sadly didn’t get to meet her whilst he was alive but we private message each other on Facebook and have remained in contact throughout the last two years. Chris, Francis and I actually got to meet her earlier this year which was awesome and we could immediately understand Rowie’s fascination for her. She is a very warm, kind and spiritual soul which is why, I am convinced, Rowie was drawn to her initially. Those people I envy, my spiritual cronies, tell me that he spends time with her still.

I have met, as mentioned before, several other people who Rowie has given the seal of approval to! He shows up in their lives as if he has known them forever! Lynn from Gore was the first to experience his sense of humour across the veil and she has never ever failed to amaze us! He has shown up many times since for Jodie, Jose, Kelvin, Janice and now Lyn (who doesn’t even seek to see spirit) – lucky, lucky soul!

As I have said before just think how happy it must make him, and all our loved ones who have passed over, feel to know that there are people who can see them, hear them, sense them (clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience) and pass messages on to those that they love. These wonderfully gifted people show up all over. This young friend of Rowans was approached by someone in a crowd who told her she had spirit with her and supporting her.

I don’t ask for these folk to see Rowie or feel him – he just shows up when he knows he is needed.

Another young friend of Rowans visited a Chinese healer. She did not tell him of her history but he accurately picked up that she had lost someone very close to her recently and healed her accordingly. She has been relieved of the weight that was sitting so heavily on her chest and sleeps better and feels so much more energetic and able to cope with day to day stresses.

I find that my healing continues by being open with people; by not being afraid to talk about my feelings and by taking control of my own life. No-one can hurt me without my permission! If folk don’t believe in my reality they are perfectly welcome to create their own. When you are not afraid to do what you are thinking you are being true to yourself; you are following your heart. When you follow your heart you find that, most of time, you have an inner happiness and contentment. Gandhi said “You must be the change you wish to see in the world”. Another way of coping with past trauma and past hurt is to try not to live in the past – the present moment is the only one that we really have any control over – and I am trying to make sure that this is what counts!

If you sit at home and hope things will go away or hope things will get better you are doing nothing to help yourself. Get out there – you will be amazed at how many like-minded people you will find by just opening yourself up!



Reincarnation is the religious or metaphysical perception that the soul or spirit, after physical death, at some stage down the track begins a new life in a new body. This doctrine is a belief of most Indian religions and has some following in some sects of Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

I personally believe wholeheartedly that we reincarnate many times before we reach that enviable position where we earn a choice to stay in Heaven or reincarnate again. Some of us, I am sure, are quicker to learn than others and complete this journey more speedily.

From what I can gather, we are all given positive and negative experiences throughout our different lives. These experiences can be seen as a series of karmic lessons or soul trainings which are basically a process of spiritual discovery. All of us have had bad experiences in our lives. For the most part we view these as times of darkness and misery. We feel like we have lost all hope and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. If the emotional trauma is severe we can suffer soul-shock and have no will left to live. How can we be expected to see any good to come out of this horrendous situation? It is the true transformation of the soul which allows us to see the good within this horrendous place of darkness.

Jodie was the first to talk to me about soul-shock and soul retrieval. The path of recovery on a soul level after soul shock is known as soul retrieval. It allows for healing through spiritual insight, mindfulness and a consciousness willing to learn. It is based around unconditional love and allowing the light of positive energy to help you to release the negative thoughts and cotton wool that encompass you. By opening yourself up to positive interpretations, you help yourself to learn your soul lessons in the current incarnation which in turn speeds up your journey and ensures that you don’t have to reincarnate to learn the same lessons again.

Rowan believed enthusiastically and unreservedly in reincarnation. He firmly believed that he had once been a Japanese warrior. He had a wealth of knowledge about Japan and its early inhabitants. He was fascinated with its history and its culture – far more fascinated than ‘just an idle curiosity’. He was desperate to visit Japan. He applied a couple of times through school to go on an exchange but missed out. He badgered us as a family to consider a family holiday there. When he first talked of Japan I enjoyed his stories and treated them like a good imaginative read! I look on his stories now with different eyes. He knew so much more than me; he had seen into the past and he had glimpsed the future.

He is an ‘old soul’. I look into his eyes now and know without doubt that he is an ‘old soul’. As an ‘old soul’ he didn’t have to stay around too long down here on his last incarnation. He has returned to his roots. He has experienced his fifth and final stage of reincarnation. In this stage there was a search for balance and an urge to pass on the torch before the end of his earth-life. By being the catalyst, the emotional trauma that triggered my soul-shock and opened the doors for my soul retrieval he has indeed passed on the torch!

An ‘old soul’ tends to be a bit of a loner because their hobbies and interests are usually a little different to those of their peers. They seek knowledge, wisdom and truth. This doesn’t mean they have their noses buried in books. They look for this knowledge, wisdom and truth in eccentric, funny ways. The old soul has a tendency to be sensitive and emotional. He left his ego behind and fosters love, peace and gentle humour wherever he goes. They champion the underdog. They are constantly aware of their own mortality and the mortality of their loved ones. This can manifest in them at times being withdrawn. Old souls tend to think a lot. They have learned so many lessons through their thought processes and possess huge insight into life situations from their ability to quietly and carefully watch what is going on around them. The old soul is not materialistic. He does not see the point in chasing things that can so easily be taken away from him. Most show offbeat signs of maturity at a young age. They fail to fit into the mainstream pattern of behaviours. If you can talk to your child like he’s an adult odds are you have probably got an old soul there.

I was delighted to have a SKYPE session with my wonderful teacher, Jose, a couple of weeks ago. It is nearly a year since we last spoke. We had a good old natter and a catch up before he offered to do a guided meditation with me. He took me on a beautiful meditation and then he talked of Rowan. He said that he was standing behind me – he said that the love he could feel between us was incredible. He said that Rowie was wrapping me in his wings………… He grinned at me – ‘didn’t you know he has got his wings now?’ he asked! No, no I didn’t. I am delighted, amazed, astonished. He has apparently transcended and my efforts down here have helped him on his journey – so you see, I can still help him. How awesome is that?