Life, Death and Spirituality

Month: January, 2015


OK. So Rowie is stepping back a little to allow me to work with someone different on a literary level. It is all a matter of learning to trust someone new; trusting that they will understand my confused deliberations and contemplations. I guess they too will be worrying a little at the thought of taking me on! I wish I had a name to communicate with or a picture to envisage. You could say that I am working blind! I get the goose bumps as affirmation that there is someone around me; someone wanting to help me. I just have to learn afresh how to recognise the signs and the ways in which this new guide of mine is going to communicate with me, is going to help and steer me.

As I sit back and think about this challenge I wonder whether a visit to see my beautiful friend in Gore might be the answer. I’m guessing that she will be able to see whoever it is that has chosen to help me on the next part of my journey.

I am suddenly gripped with fear that Rowan might not hang around with me any more if I start to work with someone else – even though I am told that he is encouraging this step. If mediums are to be believed though; all it takes is a conscious thought on my behalf and Rowie will be by my side; listening and loving as always. I am 99.9% sure that this is the case although there is still that slight doubt; that moment when I am fearful that it is just my imagination; usually after dark. How does the saying go? “The darkest hour is just before the dawn” or “the darkest hour of all is the hour before day”. I take that to mean that there is hope, even in the worst of circumstances!

When I talk about my new-found spirituality I have lost count of the times that people have said to me “OK, but I’m not religious so I find all this a bit weird”! The fact of the matter is that I am not religious either. This may seem a little puzzling. Every religion in the world has its spiritual philosophies. There are great big, undeniable connections between all these philosophies. In my mind this says, loud and clear, that spirituality exists; but however each individual wishes to acknowledge it, it is up to them. I fully respect people who have a religion; it is just that, on the whole, I find religions tend to be intolerant of other religions and as such, don’t want to head down that path myself.

Spirituality isn’t about how much we meditate or how often we go to church. It isn’t about how much time we spend praying. It is about opening ourselves up; letting go of expectations; forgetting about the way we think things should be; quieting that incessant babble in your head. It means that we need to stop labelling everything as either ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, ‘black’ or ‘white’. It entails trying to put a hold on our judgemental attitude and thinking that we are always the ones that are right. It means choosing love over fear. It involves allowing more love, compassion, forgiveness and gratitude into our world. The way I see it is that anyone who kills others in the name of religion or judges others for life choices and bans them from their religious community for these choices is not truly walking the spiritual path.

Actively encouraged by Rowan, I am trying to live my life in a more forgiving way. It isn’t easy when you have spent fifty-odd years of your life having no religious or spiritual beliefs whatsoever! If this means letting go of ways and things that no longer serve me then so be it.

I know Rowie was excusing of my chaotic reflections! I hope my new spirit friend can make some sense of my disorderly thoughts – and although perhaps perplexed, I hope he has the strength to stick it out!



I’m just sooo busy! There aren’t enough hours in the day! Where did the day go? I must make time tomorrow instead of procrastinating! Time flies when you’re having fun! It flies even when you’re not! It’s a good job women are so very good at multi-tasking. Let’s face it, if we weren’t how could we function so well as mothers?

The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered

“Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

I have never tried to hide my idolisation of The Dalai Lama and I quote him often.

I pressured Francis, our eldest son, and his wife Maree, into accompanying me to see His Holiness when he spoke in Dunedin in 2013. Dunedin Town Hall was fully booked. Why? There was this diminutive gentleman of indeterminate age; but certainly older than you or I! Historically kicked out of his own country, he lives in India as an exile. He speaks English in a stilted fashion and laughs a lot! How can he fill such a large space and command such attention and devotion?

When he walked slowly onto the stage I would like to bet that there were very few dry eyes in the house – his dignity, poise and presence were awe-inspiring. I choked up immediately! I have never seen such charisma in one so understated in his demeanour. He spoke a little and laughed; an infectious laugh that had his audience laughing with him; even though most of us missed what he actually said! After tuning in to him for ten minutes it became easy to understand and follow his speech.
It is very difficult to say what I actually took away from the occasion; apart from a life-long veneration and respect for the man. His beliefs and values are so simple but in the same breath, mind-blowing. His way of life, his mantra; love, compassion, forgiveness. Simple but incredibly effective!

I have been busy over the last few weeks. I have been tying off ends on our book, Chasing Shadows. I have been making bracelets in a positively manic fashion – stocking up for the Owaka market held last weekend in brilliant sunshine at the Catlins Café – great company, music, food and drink! I’ve been so busy in fact that I haven’t written here for a while.

Jodie sent me an email last week out of the blue. She has been hugely busy in her new work in Silicon Valley. I have been busy being busy. It was perfectly wonderful to hear from her again.

She had news for me; news that made me very happy. Rowan had been around her a little; hanging back, not pushing himself forward, but there nonetheless. She said that he is a medium’s dream! So many spirits push themselves forward and are demanding. They are aggressive and difficult to deal with. Rowie just sits and waits quietly; smiling and “chill” is how she described him! She knows him so well! I think I could describe him as smiling and “chill” too. She said there is something totally effortless and gracious about his approach. He is very clear when he communicates with her. He sends my voice to her saying “Come on Rowie, help me then”! She says it is just as if I am in the room with her; sitting next to her even. I have lost count of the amount of times I have said this to Rowie when I am writing and hit a block! There are others in spirit around me too she tells me. She thinks that I am attracting other people in spirit. There are a couple of spirits around that would like to help me too. Good news I think. It sounds like my journey might be about to pick up a little momentum again! How I miss Jodie – I would love to catch up with her again. Perhaps the Universe can set something up for me!

With this in mind I spent an age transferring all my crystals outdoors so that they could energise in the sun today and then returning them to their resting places, energised and buzzing!

Twenty four hours on, I visited my friend at The Nuggets this morning. She further enlightened me about me continuing journey. There is another book to be written! Rowie is going to be part of my ‘mediumship’ journey but he has handed over the mantle of ‘literary spirit’ to a friend of his in the spirit world! Janice and Jodie both say the same thing! This is exciting!

I don’t quite know where my journey is taking me next but I am open to receiving whatever the Universe has in store for me and I will aid and abet it in any way I can!


Two years ago, January 2013, saw the start of an incredible journey for me.

We lost our seventeen year old son in a horrendous accident on Boxing Day 2012 which led me to an amazing scramble for the truth!

The thing that I really needed to know first was, where is Rowie now? Is he dead and gone? Is there nothing but ashes remaining from such a short but happy, loving and energetic life? Is it like my father predicted; you are born, you live, you die, you return to the earth – the end?

Of course everyone who loses someone close needs to grab hold of the hope that life does go on after we lose our physical bodies; that there is a kind of ‘life after death’; that we will be able to catch up with loved ones somewhere down the track…….that they might even be waiting for us when we breathe our own last breath.

Well, it didn’t take me long to start believing that some sort of life after death does indeed exist. All the ‘coincidences’ gave it away! I’ve talked before about these. These coincidences started the day after Rowan died and they have continued to occur throughout the last two years; usually when I or my family needed some sort of a lift, a tonic, an encouragement.

The first book I read after Rowan died was lent to me by our funeral director, Raewyn. She loaned me this book by UK medium Lisa Williams, Life Among the Dead. It talked of a place where Spirits progress when they leave their earthly body. When I say ‘spirit’, I am referring to souls that have returned to source, passed into the Afterlife, Heaven etc. Lisa has spent many years speaking to dead people for and on behalf of people like myself who have lost loved ones and want proof of their continued existence. She also has the gift of seeing and talking to her own spirit guides. Add to that the near-death experience she underwent and she suddenly looks like an extremely knowledgeable person in the field of all things metaphysical! The whole package so to speak!

This led me to contact Lynn, a medium in Gore. She worried that perhaps Rowie wouldn’t come through so soon after passing because he would need to heal. He did come through – God bless Lynn for her amazing gift and her ability to make my beautiful son feel comfortable with her.

The first person I spoke to who could actually see Rowan ‘in situ’, where he was at the time, was Almora, Ascended Master channelled by an awesome lady, originally from Jersey, who now lives in Christchurch, Dellaina. Dellaina isn’t a medium. She channels Almora and brings messages from him to help us live life to the best of our ability and he helps us realise our soul purpose in this life.

Almora saw Rowan in a great healing facility/hospital. He was sitting in a large hall with very high walls and windows from top to bottom allowing in pure, beautiful light. This building was all-white. He described the peace emanating from this place as truly amazing. There was music playing quietly; the most incredibly music. He told me that Rowan, because of his sudden and unexpected death, had much healing to do. Apparently when spirits pass quickly as he did, with no warning, they can see their loved ones here hurting and they feel huge sadness for them. They need this healing time to process what has happened to them and to refresh their memory of what they actually are and to help them to understand the progression of spirit through various lifetimes.

People who have had long, debilitating illnesses equally spend a while within this healing facility, helping them to release the mental pain and suffering that these illnesses have put them through. This ‘hospital’ helps the spirit to shed any memories of the pain and trauma their physical body suffered through their earthly lifetime. People suffering from addictions when they passed also need to spend a deal of time in this healing facility because they bring with them remnants of their addictions that need to be discarded.

Almora talks about the the vibration and energy in this healing facility and how it feels like a huge, loving embrace; one that you will not want to leave! You stay in this healing facility as long as you need to.

The healing facility is staffed by ‘healers’ – these same ‘healers’ work with us down here. They help us through emotionally difficult times. These ‘healers’ are highly evolved souls who guide you through your healing after the trauma of passing; suddenly, from a long illness or after a violent death. They help you through the grieving process of having left the Earth plane – it is a natural feeling to grieve for the life you have left behind.

Almora thought that Rowan was nearing the end of his healing process. At this stage Rowie had been gone from us around 5 months. I had been told by another medium that Rowan would probably need around 6 months healing before he was able to progress. This all fitted perfectly. When I attended Kelvin Kruickshank’s workshop in June I was told that he ‘was whole again’ and happy.

When I visited Jodie in San Francisco, some eight months after Rowan had passed, he was out of the facility and working as a ‘healer’ himself; meeting young people who, like him, had passed unexpectedly due to an accident; helping them to process their grief and helping them to understand the ways of the Afterlife, Heaven etc. He talked of wanting to be an ‘Ambassador for Heaven’.

After spending the needed time in this healing facility we meet up with our spirit guides again. This is where we decide on our best path forward; we get to see our Akashic Record, a document that details every single life we have lived on the Earth plane. We make the choice to reincarnate again or to stay a while longer to participate as an inhabitant of Heaven.

Some lucky souls don’t have to reincarnate again because they have completed all their life lessons. They get to stay in the Afterlife for as long as they want.

Oddly enough though it seems that most spirits choose to reincarnate again; to once more live within a dense, slow moving Earthly body where they can experience all the physical things that a spiritual soul cannot experience.

If only we knew this when we complain endlessly about the way life is treating us!!