It has been a long time. How’ve you been doing? I’ve been a little preoccupied recently; had a lot of things on my mind. Since the book launch I have been super-busy – mainly going around and around in circles, getting nowhere fast! Suddenly the drive and purpose seemed to have left me. I had done what I was instructed to do – written about my journey; published it so that others might gain from my experiences. What now?
Well, nothing has really changed. I miss Rowan every second of every minute of every day of every week, month, year, in my life. He is as important to me now as he always was, from the moment he popped into this world on this rotation!
I’m not being wholly truthful when I say “nothing has changed”. A lot of things have changed. I no longer fear my own death, mortality. I am actually quite excited about the prospect of the next part of my journey. I no longer wonder “what next”? I know what is next and it thrills me; it makes me want to shout at people who don’t know yet! My perception of “life” has changed. I am aware that I am living the life I chose to live before I incarnated this time around. Why anyone would choose to put themselves through the things we have been through I’m not sure. But these are the lessons that we all chose to learn when we planned out this journey; Rowan, Chris, Francis, Maree and I, along with everyone who has touched and will touch our lives as we continue. Just imagine the homecomings we will all have; the celebrations as we get to meet up again further down the track!
Believing in an afterlife should help the grieving process; knowing that it is only a matter of time before we get to hug, laugh, talk together again with Rowie, and some days it is quite cathartic to think this. I am aware of days when I do my early morning visiting routine with ‘the big Rowie picture’ that I am not drenched in sadness. These days are becoming more and more frequent which is awesome. Nevertheless, sometimes it just seems too painful to bear.
I have had a serendipitous expedition these last few days. An advertisement for Transcendental Meditation (TM) appeared somewhere a few weeks ago which just happened to catch my eye! I arranged to meet up with the facilitator on her way back from Dunedin to Invercargill. I was immediately drawn to Margaret. She is another soul who has been Heaven-sent to help me on my journey. She spent four days in Owaka this week helping me learn the technique of TM. This is the first meditation that I have found that sits well with me – I found that I could do it from the onset, which is extremely exciting. I can see many benefits ahead of me as I allow TM to become another routine in my life.
I used my Universal White Time Healing the other day; the first time for a long time. I found that I could hold the energy easier and longer than previously. I think this may be the TM influence and long term this could be amazingly helpful.
I am still working with my crystals and gaining huge benefits from studying and handling them. I find that any stress, anxiety or anger I am feeling quickly dissipates as I sit quietly with them and work. I am enjoying researching spiritual and physical healing properties of each gemstone and combining them to make therapeutic bracelets. I am delighted that people who order them are now, more often, selecting them for their properties rather than their appealing colours.
Rowie sent us a gift in the shape of Liv, his awesome friend from The Spirit of New Zealand at Easter. She came to spend a few days with us. It isn’t hard to see why those 10 days were the “best 10 days” of his life.
So you see, he is still very much a part of our life. He guides us, educates us, propels opportunities our way, looks after us, and sends us friends upon friends to make our days happy and fulfilled – how awesome are our spirit family.