Well, it’s been a while!
This doesn’t mean that nothing has been going on in my life – it just means that I wasn’t sure if I had anything interesting to report!
Since starting back at work I find little time to write. Book two may well be years away from completion! I find this quite sad and more than a little frustrating. I love writing. I have found this pastime very therapeutic since Rowan passed over. It also allows me to talk about him which is something that I never tire of doing.
I also love my job. The people I work with are beautiful people who have extraordinary understanding and empathy for others; others who are struggling to find their way through life. I have made some wonderful friends with people on the other side of the counter too. I see in them like-souls who are constantly battling their own demons like we battle ours and it isn’t hard to smile and offer warmth to these wonderful hearts.
Boxing Day 2017 was a milestone – five years since Rowan returned to his first home; taken from this world quickly and without any warning. As I’ve said before, at some level he knew that he wasn’t going to be with us for very long, but to those of us left behind, it was a cruel, catastrophic and appalling event that has scarred us forever. We aren’t the first parents to lose a child and we certainly won’t be the last. Our club seems to grow in number at an alarming rate. Owaka has lost so many of its young. For a small country town it has lost more than its fair share. I sometimes wonder why this is………..whether there is some ancient, historical reasoning for this or whether it is just coincidental. But, I strongly believe that there are no coincidences! Everything happens for a reason.
I would love to create some sort of spiritual retreat and holistic healing centre in The Catlins. I think that is what is needed to restore some balance. Who knows what is ahead?
Where I’m at now
When you are busy working full time it takes a lot longer to quiet your mind enough to make any inroads or forays into mindfulness.
I completed, and passed, my BSc in Metaphysical Science some nine months ago. I loved working through the degree and learned many things about myself that surprised me. I am now a fully Ordained Minister and Practitioner of the International Metaphysics Ministry; qualified to “hatch, match and despatch” as the old saying goes. As yet I am not entirely sure that I want to perform ceremonial duties as a Minister. I find the thought quite daunting but perhaps this is only because my time seems so committed already. My next step is to tackle my Master’s; this includes a 10,000 word thesis. If I could come up with a topic for this I would be on to it in a flash!
I have had some exciting times catching up with Rowan again.
I was advised that I should spend some quality time with him! I found this instruction a little confusing but, still chasing shadows, I thought I would give it a go.
I was told to set a specific time every day where I enter a private space and talk to Rowan. I set this time for six in the evening. My private space, of course, was my healing room; full of beautiful pictures, crystals and incense. I was instructed to talk to him as if he were sitting with me; I was in fact told to prepare two chairs, one for myself and one for him.
My intention was only to spend a short time in the room with him – not more than ten minutes because I am told it is extremely tiring for spirit to remain on task for any length of time. Sometimes this ten minutes seemed like ten hours as a struggled for things to tell him; especially on the days where I got no response. Other days I could have gone on for ever – chatting and laughing just like old times.
I now realise why this exercise was so good. It has taught me how to recognise when Rowan is with me and when he isn’t. There are times when I walk into my room and I have a powerful and consistent circle of goose bumps that revolve around me; the hairs on my arms stand on end and my heart rate quickens. These are the days when he is with me – loud and proud! Other times I can walk into my room and feel absolutely nothing. I began to identify these senses and as I did, they became more intense which made the days that he wasn’t there hugely disappointing.
I spent seven months carrying out this routine. On the days that it was impossible for me to get to my room for six (which weren’t very often – it was an extremely important time for me), I left him a note explaining why I couldn’t be there. I wish he had allowed me the same courtesy!
After seven months of practice, I became aware of him in other places; not just my room. I will get an extemporaneous chill; usually while I am somewhere else in the house but on occasions this would be delivered in the car, or even at work in a quiet moment. He really is a very clever soul!
Hindsight says that I should have continued longer with this practice. The more familiar I became with Rowan, the higher the likelihood was of me developing a better way of communicating with him. Jodie said that as I developed my senses more, I would likely be able to feel his touch. I need to make time to do this. Life just seems to be so busy. Or perhaps I am scared of being disappointed!
I would recommend anyone who wishes to work on their clairvoyant skills to give this practice a shot. You will learn so very much. You just need to create a quiet, private, safe space where you and your loved one can learn together. Make it a space that it beautiful; scented with flowers or incense; no need to go over the top! A white candle is always a good mood enhancer. Ask to be clothed in white light before you start.
Our journey continues. I was told back in 2013 that I was unlikely to develop skills enough to catch up properly with Rowan for around six years. Back then this seemed like a lifetime – I couldn’t bear the thought. Well guess what; 2019 just might be a good vintage!